#don't leave me alone with myself
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Ever thought about digging your own grave? And lying peacefully waiting for death... That's the definition of LIFE. People go through immense amount of pain while living their life just like digging a grave for themselves only to find peace and relief in the end by laying in it.. killing their hopes and expectations, feeling like a burden for everyone around them and finally finding out that their own breaths were also a burden for themselves. At last, waiting for death to suffer again in the phase of afterlife.
#Spotify#lost#dying inside#please help#leave me the hell alone#don't leave me#don't leave me alone with myself#my mind is so freaking scary#i'm so tired#i'm sorry#i cant take it
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There's a user going around currently reblogging/commenting on antiLO content with the intent of "digging up dirt" on people who simply read and enjoy the comic. Basically demanding the OP's of such posts to inform them of any 'stans' so they can add them to a 'list' that they absolutely do not have any good intentions to do with, along with making some very unsavory and completely unwarranted comments about the fans in general (and I don't mean the usual "lmao LO fans are weird/dumb/etc." stuff, I mean genuinely cruel wishes to have the fans of the comic doxxed/harmed/etc.) I have blocked this user for obvious reasons, and if you get a similar reblog or DM like I did from this person, I hope you'll do the same.
Please do not play into this. As much as I and many others talk shit about this dumpster fire of a comic and its questionable if not outright controversial writing and messaging, none of us have any right to go after any of the fans or stans directly. At best that would just be proving to the fans who already hate this part of the fandom that we're boogeymen out to get people, at worst it would be a betrayal to our own integrity as human beings who should be capable of discussing media without turning it into a harassment campaign. Making shitposts about the media and the fandom is fine, discussing the media itself and the creator who made it within our own little spaces of the Internet is ultimately harmless so long as it's managed within reason, but deliberately going out of your way to dig up personal information on innocent people within the fandom for the purpose of ruining their life is not okay and if you ever get to that point where you're trying to rationalize going after people directly, you need to log off.
#and yes this is a reminder to myself and those who enjoy my content as well#i know i'm REAL GOOD at talking shit#but i don't do what i do here with the intent of starting a mob#i'm here sharing my thoughts on media that i both like and dislike#that is not permission to go on your own justice crusade using what i do here as rationalization for your actions#i have and will continue to block anyone who comes at me with these kinds of requests to name drop people#i've done my part in the past to help protect this community from bad faith fans with bones to pick#but we have to remember to protect the community from ourselves too#idc how much you look up to me or my work here#i will absolutely not be made into some martyr for a cause i don't believe in and do not condone.#leave people alone.#lore olympus critical#anti lore olympus#lo critical
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sorry but what are you even doing on tumblr if you're married??? this site is for depressed teenagers and emo people in their 20s and 30s who never stopped being depressed teenagers. get your happiness OFF of my dash omg we don't want the soft found family mushyness we want angst and creators we can actually relate to
LMAOOOOOOOO this is by far the dumbest, most brain-dead fucking take i have ever seen in my life. kindly fuck off!
#i don't usually respond to hate but girl you need to HEAR yourself#this is so fucking stupid dear god#firstly. most great fandom works have been written by married women who work full-time jobs while raising their children#secondly. i am not on here to be relatable to you. i am not a “creator” i'm a fan enjoying myself#you simply get to be in my space. i don't owe you anything! let alone relatability#and it's GET to be. get to. you don't have to. if this is not the space for you then leave#i will continue being happy with my perfectly wonderful wife who reads my fics and shares her hcs with me#you can continue being a miserable cunt. exactly as you want!#carina fucking chats
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tell me something. put your heart on the table and let it stain. I won't tell what body it came from
#i might send myself an anon tbh if enough come in#just. lighten the load. tell me im not alone in all this suffering#ill leave it be for a while and if nothing happens ill just delete and pretend this never happened#who cares? are you sitting in your bed? by your kitchen table?#listen to We Will Be Found by Jasha Klebe with me. tell me something that you need to get off your chest#I won't know your face. but i will hold your hand#did something good happen to you? or are you wearing the ache of something old? just. tell me. i need to know#really nervous abt posting this btw. but you don't know me. I don't know you. we're just driftwood
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YoU hAvE tO uNdErStAnD pEoPlE cAlL pRoShIpPeRs GrOoMeRs BeCaUsE tHeRe ArE lOtS oF pRoShIp CoMmUnItIeS wHeRe KiDs HaVe BeEn AcTuAlLy GrOoMeD - i SaW a CoMmEnT bY sOmEoNe WhO eXpErIeNcEd ThAt, AnD i'Ve SeEn MaNy MoRe. On ThE oThEr HaNd, LgBt ArE cAlLeD gRoOmErS bEcAuSe SoMe PeOpLe CaN't StOmAcH tHe FaCt ThAt A kId CaN bE gAy Or TrAnS
CoMpArInG qUeEr PeOpLe To PeOpLe WhO fAnTaSiZe AbOuT kIdS iS iNcReDiBlY dIsTaStEfUl AnD i HoPe ThE fAcT tHaT yOu SaId ThAt SiTs WiTh YoU aT nIgHt. WhAt ThE aCtUaL hElL.
#proship#anti anti#proshippers please interact#profic#proshipper#profiction#pro fiction#anti censorship#antis dni#about antis#for context this was taken from a shazimei video about proshippers#i commented about my stance on proshippers and someone replied to me this#and another person#just because some proshippers have groomed others doesn't mean that all proshippers are groomers#i was just saying this was the same rhetoric conservatives have used on the queer community#and im saying this as a queer person myself#don't even bother looking for the video and comments#just leave them alone#⭐️🧸🔫
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I need to know if anyone else understands the feeling of wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone in ways that Sound very romantic but you aren't into them like that. Fantasizing about living with them. Cooking dinner together every night and watching movies, laying together in silence just because one of you is lonely and wanted comfort. If you have to leave the house before they wake up, you'll make yourself breakfast and leave a plate for them in the fridge. When one of you is sick, the other makes soup and brings them their medicine whenever they need it. Getting home late knowing there will be a warm meal waiting for you, and doing the same for them. But you're not attracted to them, and you know you never will be, but you still want that kind of life with them
#I've felt this way towards a lot of people#And some of it was just like#The classic children on the internet planning how they're gonna move in together when they're older#And it fizzles out once you grow up and live your own lives#But man I've been thinking about it so much lately#I think it's always stemmed from like. Wanting a place where I feel free and safe 100% of the time#Which isnt to say I'm not safe in my current home because I am /gen#But i want a place where I don't have to hide my snacks because someone will eat them without asking and won't apologize#I want a place where I know nobody's gonna make a comment about how much i eat#Or how I look or how I dress#I want somewhere where I can have space to myself but also not fully be alone#And I don't have a partner and I don't know if I'll have one for a long time#So these feelings just end up falling on my closest friends who I trust and would feel completely safe with#Me and my trio used to joke that if we ever move in together we're making a mashed potato volcano with dinosaur nuggets for dinner on the#first night#Id still take them up on that offer#None of this is happening for a long time cause I'm also just nowhere near ready to move out#There's a lot here I would have to leave behind#But man even if it's just for a year. I want that joy of sharing a space with someone i love and trust with my life#peg speaks
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Whit and Eden Accomplices Theory (or mostly just rambling about how Eden could be the culprit in a way that makes sense to me and also how Whit's strange behavior could be explained alongside it but that's a way longer title, oh wai-)
(I'm so sorry every DRDT theory I have involves Whit maybe if he was fucking normal and also not my fav character I would stop putting him in everything)
My entire mindset about theories is just throwing shit at the wall until it sticks, and it seems that this one has really stuck in my mind.
I feel like this post will be long bc there has to be a lot of explanation as to how I got to this theory.
See, I have an issue with the Eden motive from mostly a character perspective as Eden coming up on her own such a cruel method to kill Arei just does not feel in character even if she did snap. It also doesn't help that there isn't much of a motive for her. I've seen people justify but I just don't buy it and I personally just find it a bit boring. I also don't believe she would be fully distrustful of Arei unless being pushed to believe so.
However, the idea that she might have an accomplice could help that justification but it ends up creating a lot more problems. Because you'd need to find a character who would be willing to put their life on the line for seemingly no good reason. This is the issue I had with the Levi/Eden accomplice theory and now for me that theory is pretty much debunked since Levi admitting to his secret just drives more suspicion around him (it also doesn't match with his behavior in the trial, he does seem to genuinely want to help).
I can't deny that Eden definitely is the most suspicious despite me throwing Levi and even Whit under the fire purely because I just don't buy narratively that Eden murdering Arei makes sense. However undeniably, Eden could have access to both Teruko/Hu's clothes and she could've gotten hold of the tape, doesn't help that she was also quite suspicious when Teruko snuck up on her.
So I start to go back to the idea of accomplices, if it's not Levi, who could it be ?
Now before I get to Whit, I do want to propose the kind of other thought I had that didn't quite work out but also is interesting.
Eden culprit + Hu accomplice theory
Now this one is purely because of the fact that we know Hu and Eden hanged out a lot the day before the murder happened, Hu and Eden talked about the clothes as well. There's enough of a connection to make them planning a murder make sense.
However, it doesn't make sense with Hu's character so far. We do know she seems reluctant about her secret however we run into the problem that she has no reason not to just admit it on the spot when the secrets are now already revealed. It works especially not well with the fact that her whole thing is that she wants to live and blows up at David for wanting to play with the cast's lives. In fact her secret quote emphasizes how much she wants to live.
Her having also an alibi makes it impossible for her to have committed/contributed to the murder directly though if she's an accomplice that isn't much of a rebutal, it just makes it impossible for her to be anything more than just a distant accomplice.
Anyways, that really just doesnt leave us with a lot of viable accomplices to help Eden, at least not ones that would make actual sense except....
*sigh* Whit...
I would like to say this is kind of an evolution/building up of my personal theory of Whit being the culprit, as he was linked with a lot of suspicious behavior and also would be the only one with a hypothetical motivation (which in this theory there is a potential second motivation possibly here).
Now my main argument against a lot of the accomplices is the threat of death, who would willingly risk or give up their lives for someone's murder ??
The thing is...Whit already has multiple times refused to tell the truth both in the first case and second case, to the detriment of the survival of everybody. Trial 2 being the most obvious with him being reluctant about Eden's note and David's secret, if he truly continued to keep it shut he had potential to risk people's lives by leaving out information. In the first trial it's him being reluctant to divulge Charles's trauma despite it being the key reason as to why he couldn't have commited the murder.
In fact it's such an issue that Charles hands his secret to Teruko and not Whit because he can't trust Whit to divulge the secret in the class trial.
This would also give Whit a motive, his strange disposition to not unveil anyone's secret could potentially expand to him having personal motivation to not have everyone's secret revealed.
But I think the real motive lies in the strange subject of Whit's secret, his secret being thrown away by Rose without her looking at it, making it impossible for Whit to ever know what his secret was. Interestingly enough he also takes a strange amount of time to indentify that secret as his, like to a point of it no longer just being carelessness.
Therefore lies a potential motivation of him overthinking what his secret actually is. If you want more I go into Whit's potential motivation more in the Whit culprit post (specifically his strange behavior) but let's get onto other information that's smaller but works well with th
Another thing that like, while is mostly based on vibes and circumstancial evidence is still an interesting thing to think about. There's the fact that Whit and Eden were both the people chosen with Teruko and this is something I want to bring up for three reasons.
One, it is important to bring up the counter argument of "them orchestrating Arei's death would go against the body announcement rules right ?" and that is correct. However, the rule is extremely vague to an almost ridiculous degree, if Arei died of suffocation or if Whit and Eden weren't looking when she actually died would it not count as "witnessing the murder" ? In fact I believe this rule being there more so hint at it being subverted especially since we know how unreliable Mono-TV is. Also if we're going with that argument, it is interesting to also note that Eden and Whit were weirdly reluctant about Teruko going to the playground (aka Whit asking if she even really is at the playground and Eden telling Teruko to please wait when she opens the door).
Second, is Whit and Eden's closeness due to this trial, well that wouldn't be the right word, the more correct word would be proximity. Whit jumps to comfort Eden, although in a quite strange apathetic way (no whit saying "there there" doesn't count as actually emotionally being there for someone whose friend just got hanged). They both are in charge of the evidence by Teruko with Rose being grouped up as well. Whit tries to avoid the subject around the note that is incriminating to Eden. They also both "coincidentally" didn't notice Arei's swaying.
Third, more shorter and "funny" little subject would be Teruko's bad luck, especially with Min in the first trial. How unlucky would she be to have picked both of the people responsible for Arei's death. It would be an interesting running theme. However there's not much evidence behind that.
Now here are like short little bullet points that I think kinda cement my thoughts on how Whit being an accomplice can work (bc a lot of people have talked about Eden being the culprit already)
-Whit again one of the few who knows about Arei's rope, everyone could've technically gotten their hands on it but only a few would really know about the rope itself and it being taken away
-Whit is the one to question about acomplice thing and in fact actually manages to get Mono-TV to accept his criteria on who would be considered the blackened. Aka the one that was the most "active" in the crime. If Whit managed to do less than Eden this could be a potential attempt at him for the rules to be in his favor in case Eden gets found out (or vice verca, if he did most of the work he'd be the one to escape).
-I feel like Whit would be high in the spot of being able to manipulate Eden, they both have similar ideologies, plus his intuition seems to get him to read people like a book (or see the future ? were still not sure about that one chief /j). Along that it would be really funny if the Ultimate Matchmaker was the one to break down a relationship. Similar irony to the Ultimate Student killing the Ultimate Rebel.
Anyways I'm sorry about these incoherent ramblings, i'm trying to piece this whole thing together and Eden just being the culprit just doesn't sit right mainly because it feels like the story doesnt justify itself enough.
So here's some spice
By the way if Whit's motivation seems strange throughout my ramblings is mainly because I don't fully know what they are, what I was trying to get across is mostly that it wouldn't be out of character for Whit to have motivations that would lead him down to helping Eden. Unlike, say, Hu whose whole theme of being someone who probably having taken their own life before considering the secrets, has an immense determination to live.
#drdt#drdt eden#eden tobisa#danganronpa despair time#drdt whit#whit young#drdt theory#drdt analysis#can you tell i only had 2 hours of sleep ???#i feel like making posts when you're sleep deprived is like giving myself justification if I do something stupid#like man don't diss on the guy who hasn't slept#how cruel are you :(#anyways i wish whit wasnt the piece of shit puzzle that just isn't fitting but he is and i just#i have a gut feeling he is involved in this somehow#the idea of it just being eden as a culprit feels too simple and lacks a motive#eden being spurred on by someone else would make sense for her character#her fear that she is weak has led on her relying on someone who would take advantage of her#idk#my brain is melting leave me alone
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do you ever think about how when fang duobing cares about someone, he wants to be with them, he wants to take care of them, he wants to share experiences with them and stay with them forever
but when li lianhua cares about someone, he wants to save them from having to deal with him, he wants to spare them the misery of seeing him like this, he wants to set them free so they'll be able to live their lives and move on without him?
fang duobing says i love you by staying
and li lianhua says i love you by leaving
#(and di feisheng says i love you by challenging both of these idiots to a fight)#li lianhua trying to walk away on legs that don't work and his “look at me... you must be scared” to xiaobao in ep 30 haunts me#the way he wants to leave and die alone like a wounded animal#how do you convince someone who's hell bent on walking away that all you want to do is walk with them#even if — especially if — you know this journey is the last one#anyway it's been zero days since i made myself sad about mlc#mysterious lotus casebook#text#my ramblings
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Really, at the end of the day, it's the fact that Armand is a sub that makes it absolutely obvious to me that there's no way in HELL that he would betray Louis. The idea is so absurd that I would like to say that I genuinely don't understand why people are rolling with it. But I know that it's because most people don't understand Dom/sub dynamics. The intense and complete DEVOTION and WORSHIP subs have for our Doms can honestly not be overstated. We would NEVER betray our Doms, ESPECIALLY if we were in love with them. We would 100% die first. Which is why I just can't take Armand betraying Louis seriously. It would NEVER happen, and ANYONE who understands subs would know that. Clearly the writers don't, or they would NOT have made Armand a sub if they wanted him to be willing to betray Louis.
The RAGE in me
#this is not an invitation for a debate#I'm not interested in arguing about this#I'm just stating this for the record for myself and my followers and anyone who will listen#interview with the vampire#iwtv#iwtv meta#loumand meta#loumand D/s meta#my meta#louis de pointe du lac#the vampire armand#armand#my little amber-eyed pumpkin#loumand#otp: i want you more than anything in the world#i'm not interested in hearing from people who don't ship loumand#or people who are going to shit on their d/s relationship#leave me and my post alone
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oops my hand slipped
based on that one SBS Oda did about what Mihawk's daughter might be like and much to my delight the Yara Vibes were on point
#oc: bravada yara#my ocs#my art#ocappreciation#fyeahonepieceocs#as you can see i have failed the 'draw an oc other than yara' challenge#but i can't help myself#she's so fun#i suppose Oda was referencing the 'i don't hunt rabbits with a cannon' line?#i think that's the live action version but there's a very similar line in the animanga#where mihawk says something to that effect#idk if yara herself would ever use 'rabbit' as an insult but the 'leave me alone idiot who is not worthy of my attention' vibe is there#very dracule of her#girlie might be using a pseudonym but she'll never not be a dracule
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#just a little mental health check in mostly for myself just to write it down#I'm in a weird place#in some regards I've been doing really well lately#I've been more social which always does wonders for my mental health#on the other hand a couple weeks ago I was home alone for a couple days and I was so stir crazy I almost couldn't handle it#I've actually been happy with my body for the last few months and I haven't had any anxiety about food nor have I attempted any restrictions#that's been a big bonus#I'm having a lot of trouble with decisions lately. I'm second guessing everything to a stressing degree#I feel like a bad person for reasons I can't totally pinpoint. like I think I'm manipulating everyone but to what end I can't tell#and there's a part of me that knows this is irrational but I can't shake it#it's so weird being aware that I'm doing so well in many regards#but I'm also able to feel myself slipping into types of paranoia that I know I'm suseptible to#today's been better but for the last few days my heart rate has been noticeably high (which says a lot because it is generally high)#it's caused unease#I don't know if I really have a point to typing any of this out#I'm feeling fine overall. I'm happy with my life right now. I have plenty of things to look forward to in the near and further future#I can just tell something is a little off and I think it might be beneficial to my future self to write this out for sake of timeline#I really need to start tracking my period because it totally might be that. or you know. I have OCD and anxiety is just a part of my life#who knows. it could be a mix or nothing or everything#I don't think anyone's reading this whole thing lol but if anyone does I do want to leave the reassurance that I'm fine and I'll be fine#like I said. just keeping an eye on myself.#oh I thought of another positive thing! I've been way less freaked out about chemicals lately! that's a nice note to end this on!#ashley rambles
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obligatory "Oda thank you for sharing this world with us" post
#fan letter got me sitting down and realizing there will be nothing like THIS in another decade or smth#the scale of the world the portrayal of emotions from side characters we don't know the name of from even the main story to spinoffs#the weight of a character's decisions that can ripple throughout the world and how this is all because of what its built upon already#like. look. i write stories and i think up of fantastical worlds myself but i don't have the opportunity to share it with people#and i know this is the case for some people as well that have entire worlds in their heads but can't get it out for some reason or the othe#so seeing just. someone make theirs of this volume and magnitude is genuinely always so inspiring even from when-#-i watched it as a little kid.#to have something of yours that you so clearly love running for this long because your story managed to capture hearts of SO many ppl that-#-it's not axed in between/urged to rush in any way?????? to have the freedom to tell the story you needed to tell? man.#tldr thank you for making me dream#eiichiro oda#one piece#(“tag heavy” IDCCCC im in my feels leave me alone)
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#incoherent whining warning!#man the fanbase on this site really is almost dead#an album announcement and the only person who bothered to post something is one half-retired fan#i think i will update jin songs list after all just for a sense of completion alone and probably will rank them too#(no point in 'kagepro's future' list since i gave up believing)#is there even a point in coping by using old habit (cultivated from pathetic “i want to return 2013” feelings) if it barely helps anymore#idk i'd be glad if you will ask me some random questions#about fandom favourite music or manga#whatever#i don't want to leave until 8/15 again without attempting to use this blog for something at least somewhat productive#like trying to restore my faith in value of communication with foreigners#and convincing myself that not selling everything kgpr-related and deleting this blog ~3 years ago was worth it#tbh i don't think i've ever talked with strangers about such “irrelevant” things online#no wonder initially generic fandom blog has accidentally turned into devoted notifier about all news and official materials#it's funny how on the one hand i regret dedicating so much time to it#but on the other hand i also regret not digging into it deeper#something useful(?) like having a neatly organized list of links to all the good covers tegakis mmd and such would be nice probably#but i have close to 0 motivation in current year#although it's kinda sad looking at ~10y.o. videos knowing most of them will soon be completely forgotten#or that deleted content is forever lost#not only fanworks but many translations of official stuff are lost too#because i wasn't obsessed enough for saving literally everything in my early years#i hate half-assing yet now i feel that's all i was doing
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Fact not assumption you stab friends in the back and flirt with their ex’s. Selfish & insecure
Wow, what a way to feel. Would be fair if you could elaborate on this, please?
The message your words convey is that you hold serious grudges towards me that in one way or another troubles your mind, and I think clouds your perception (I'm friendly-natured, but won't flirt with friend's ex-loves. I'm not fucking disrespectful). Tell me who you are, I might know.
Shall I unfollow him, if that helps you gain more peace of mind?
#When there are times that I miss our friendship... Isn't he the only thing left?#I am not going to feed into further hatred and negativity if that is all you have for me#I do not 'flirt' with your ex. He is not my type in 1000 years. If he thinks this is flirting then I'm sorry. I'm just a friendly person#If anything I initiated 'contact' only once which was a quick funny reaction to his story lmao#Selfish and insecure we all are sometimes I guess. Out of necessity or self-protection or whatever depressive state#But overall I'm good. Never that selfish or insecure to go anon and type out shit like this to an old friend and still remain ghost#If this is who I think it is: Work on it or please leave me alone.#For me and for your own sake#I think we should talk and I'm sorry. But I don't want the pure negativity of old feelings you harbour tossed at my head once more#I've grown healed and worked hard enough to now find myself finally in a right enough place. I hope you do too. Have some love and grace
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Lmao i found out you can boop yourself 😂
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#I found out on accident#And i booped myself yes#Because I'm a sad person okay leave me alone (no please don't leave me alone 😭)
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